18 years old Natalie Harcourt who's absolutely desperate to be a mum clinges to her doll baby (Lexi) after miscarriage.
Natalie Harcourt wakes her doll (Lexi) at 9am every day and sits her in front of the TV to watch CBeebies.
After breakfast she cuddles the mite, dresses her and they go for a stroll.
Natalie now 18, and Lexi are as close as you’d expect any mother and daughter to be.
Lexi is a “reborn” baby doll who has transformed Natalie’s life, helping her to cope with the trauma of miscarriage.
Natalie was 16 when she lost a child conceived with her then boyfriend.
Friends bought £300 silicone doll Lexi to ease the teen’s pain as she struggled with the loss of her natural baby.
The teenager is so determined to have a “real” experience of parenting, she gives herself sleepless nights by setting her alarm to wake up every two hours so she can check on Lexi, in a Moses basket by her bed.
Natalie – who studied childcare at college even has a baby monitor to keep an eye on Lexi from another room.
Kind kisses: Natalie's doll baby Lexi has helped her to deal with her loss.
here is what she said “I was absolutely heartbroken when I lost my baby. I’ll never forget the baby I have lost, but Lexi is a great comfort to me.
“I treat her just like a real baby – she is my world and I take her everywhere.
“I know people might think it’s a bit strange that I’m just 18 and sitting indoors with my reborn doll while my mates are out clubbing on a Saturday night.
“But at least I’m not spending on drugs or alcohol. I think I’m quite sensible.
“I’m desperate to have a real baby one day – hopefully a girl so her and Lexi can share clothes. I will take them out in a double buggy together.
“I think looking after Lexi is preparing me well for being a real mum. It’s just motherly instinct that I set the alarm so I can check on her. A real baby will just be noisier and messier.”
Natalie Harcourt wakes her doll (Lexi) at 9am every day and sits her in front of the TV to watch CBeebies.
After breakfast she cuddles the mite, dresses her and they go for a stroll.
Natalie now 18, and Lexi are as close as you’d expect any mother and daughter to be.
Lexi is a “reborn” baby doll who has transformed Natalie’s life, helping her to cope with the trauma of miscarriage.
Natalie was 16 when she lost a child conceived with her then boyfriend.
Friends bought £300 silicone doll Lexi to ease the teen’s pain as she struggled with the loss of her natural baby.
The teenager is so determined to have a “real” experience of parenting, she gives herself sleepless nights by setting her alarm to wake up every two hours so she can check on Lexi, in a Moses basket by her bed.
Kind kisses: Natalie's doll baby Lexi has helped her to deal with her loss.
“I treat her just like a real baby – she is my world and I take her everywhere.
“I know people might think it’s a bit strange that I’m just 18 and sitting indoors with my reborn doll while my mates are out clubbing on a Saturday night.
“But at least I’m not spending on drugs or alcohol. I think I’m quite sensible.
“I’m desperate to have a real baby one day – hopefully a girl so her and Lexi can share clothes. I will take them out in a double buggy together.
“I think looking after Lexi is preparing me well for being a real mum. It’s just motherly instinct that I set the alarm so I can check on her. A real baby will just be noisier and messier.”
She explained: “I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents and was in foster care from the time I was 14.
“So I guess I have always longed to be a mum so I can give a child something I never had. I love babies and children and think I have a lot to give as a mother.”
Natalie suffered heartbreak when she had a miscarriage aged just 16 in October 2013 after falling pregnant by accident."I’d only been with my boyfriend a few weeks and I was shocked when I discovered I was pregnant because I was on the pill.
“But despite not being planned and me being very young the baby was very much wanted. I split with my boyfriend when I discovered I was pregnant but I was so excited at the thought of being a mum.
Emotional help: Teen Natalie is desperate to finally become a mum after her loss
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Losing the baby was devastating and I felt like I was in a very dark place and have never really recovered fully. I went to the doctors and they gave me antidepressants.”
I became very depressed about losing my baby until two worried friends bought a doll for me“I was thrilled. I had researched reborns online and they intrigued me.
“I’d read how they helped women get over losing babies. I had started to really want one myself but wouldn’t have been able to afford it.
“When I first pulled Lexi out of the box and saw her I felt like I was bonding with a real baby. I couldn’t stop holding her, I knew I had to take care of her.
“She had a pretty yellow dress on and she was just beautiful. Straight away I started buying her clothes and toys. She has a pram and a Moses basket, a walker and a playmat just like any other baby. It’s hard when you are on benefits but I save for things and buy clothes from Sainsbury’s or Primark.”
“We have a good routine and I love spending time with her. I’m so excited about Christmas already. I’ve bought lots of clothes, a toy for her buggy and two wall plaques with her name on. I can’t wait to open them with her.”
“So I guess I have always longed to be a mum so I can give a child something I never had. I love babies and children and think I have a lot to give as a mother.”
Natalie suffered heartbreak when she had a miscarriage aged just 16 in October 2013 after falling pregnant by accident."I’d only been with my boyfriend a few weeks and I was shocked when I discovered I was pregnant because I was on the pill.
“But despite not being planned and me being very young the baby was very much wanted. I split with my boyfriend when I discovered I was pregnant but I was so excited at the thought of being a mum.
Emotional help: Teen Natalie is desperate to finally become a mum after her loss
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Losing the baby was devastating and I felt like I was in a very dark place and have never really recovered fully. I went to the doctors and they gave me antidepressants.”
I became very depressed about losing my baby until two worried friends bought a doll for me“I was thrilled. I had researched reborns online and they intrigued me.
“I’d read how they helped women get over losing babies. I had started to really want one myself but wouldn’t have been able to afford it.
“When I first pulled Lexi out of the box and saw her I felt like I was bonding with a real baby. I couldn’t stop holding her, I knew I had to take care of her.
“She had a pretty yellow dress on and she was just beautiful. Straight away I started buying her clothes and toys. She has a pram and a Moses basket, a walker and a playmat just like any other baby. It’s hard when you are on benefits but I save for things and buy clothes from Sainsbury’s or Primark.”
“We have a good routine and I love spending time with her. I’m so excited about Christmas already. I’ve bought lots of clothes, a toy for her buggy and two wall plaques with her name on. I can’t wait to open them with her.”
She said: “People sometimes just think she is real or stop and ask if she is a doll. I tell them the truth and move on. Sometimes they ask to hold Lexi and I let them but tell them to be careful. But there is a huge stigma attached to having a reborn and people laugh at grown women playing with dolls.
“I know people who have them and don’t tell their family because they are embarrassed and worried they will be made fun of. But reborns are so much more than dolls. Lexi is like my therapy – she helps with my depression.
“Lexi has helped me get over what I have lost and is preparing me for being a mother one day.
“She has made me aware there is someone there I need to look out for.”
Natalie is so happy with Lexi she has ordered another doll – “a twin sister”. She said: “I wanted to get Lexi a sister so I bought a doll made from the same silicone kit – so effectively her twin.
“She cost just £80. I have bought matching outfits for them.
“Lexi will never play second fiddle, she will always be just as important to me. And the nice thing is that she will always be a baby.”
Psychological therapist and lecturer Emma Kenny said Natalie’s obsession with the doll was an extreme reaction to grief – but it was helping her to cope and feel less overwhelmed.
She said: “The problem is that by using this doll as a prop, she’s not necessarily working through the genuine loss she has suffered. She feels safe and completely in control because the doll can’t die.
“But therapy would help her accept she can’t transfer her feelings for her baby on to a non-living doll.
“I know people who have them and don’t tell their family because they are embarrassed and worried they will be made fun of. But reborns are so much more than dolls. Lexi is like my therapy – she helps with my depression.
“Lexi has helped me get over what I have lost and is preparing me for being a mother one day.
“She has made me aware there is someone there I need to look out for.”
Natalie is so happy with Lexi she has ordered another doll – “a twin sister”. She said: “I wanted to get Lexi a sister so I bought a doll made from the same silicone kit – so effectively her twin.
“She cost just £80. I have bought matching outfits for them.
“Lexi will never play second fiddle, she will always be just as important to me. And the nice thing is that she will always be a baby.”
Psychological therapist and lecturer Emma Kenny said Natalie’s obsession with the doll was an extreme reaction to grief – but it was helping her to cope and feel less overwhelmed.
She said: “The problem is that by using this doll as a prop, she’s not necessarily working through the genuine loss she has suffered. She feels safe and completely in control because the doll can’t die.
“But therapy would help her accept she can’t transfer her feelings for her baby on to a non-living doll.
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